About Me, in 26 Words or Less

ATHEIST ~ That’s right, I reject the entire idea of deities and the rhetoric that goes with it. I have always been an atheist. My parents sent me to a church when I was young, to introduce me to the idea but left me to my own to decide whether or not I would believe what they were trying to teach me. I am thankful. Fortunately it wasn’t the first book of fairy tales I had come across. I recognised the book for what it was, another interesting creation myth and I left it on the shelf next to the other books on mythology. Most importantly, I am not defined by my atheism. I help to define what an atheist is.

BITCH ~ Yes, I am. I am outspoken, intelligent and I have an opinion I will share whether you like it or not. I play life’s game by my own rules. I am not here to make friends with the world, but I am here to make my mark on it. You can either accept me for who am I am and we will get along, or not and stay out of my way. I don’t ask that you share my opinion or even like it. It’s mine after all, not yours. Also, some people ask why a feminist calls herself a “bitch” and also a feminist. That’s easy; feminism (defined as the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes) has nothing to do with my outspoken personality, except that the latter helps get my point across when discussing the former.

DSCN5657CHIMP DESCENDENT ~ As much as a large percentage of the population wants to deny ALL of the evidence, yes we are descended from a shared ancestor with chimps. It’s fascinating to see that who we are as human beings is evident in the apes that we share a planet with. Chimpanzees are almost as smart as we profess to be and tend to exhibit more of the qualities that we try not to possess (at least those of us who are conscious of how we behave); they are a male dominated society and are more prone to aggression and are somewhat selfish or self-serving. Bonobos are at the other side. They are a female dominated society that are essentially peaceful and solve issues with sex. They exhibit both heterosexual and homosexual tendencies, making them just sexual beings. They raise their children together rather than individually as chimps or humans do. They represent the best of the simian society. We, as human beings are somewhere in the middle of the two species exhibiting characteristics of both.

DREAMER ~ Not just fantasy or future plans, but dreams. Not always MY dreams either. I have had dreams that meant nothing to me but everything to someone else. Dreams that were not mine to have. I have traveled thousands of miles in my sleep to be close to someone I was longing to be close to. I have traveled in my sleep to protect myself from another’s dream, leaving physical evidence (in the way of bruises, honestly) on the other person that I had been there. I dream in full color, experiencing real smell and taste. I can wake myself if they get too ridiculous, which they often do. Yes, I am a dreamer.

EMPATHIC ~ As a human I am an emotional being to start with, however I also carry it a step further (or in some cases a step too far). It’s not intentional, mind you. It’s just how it is. Trust me when I say there are times that I wish I could just shut it off. However here I am, feeling emotions that do not belong to me. Not just being sad, but feeling your emotional pain. Not just being angry but feeling the increased heart rate and flushed face that comes with it. Not just being happy for you, but feeling excited WITH you. I feel your emotions. I don’t have to be next to you either, well I usually do if we have never met. However I have felt pain from someone very close to me from half a world away. Actual physicTattoo Left Legal pain for someone else who was unhappy. It can be a great gift, helping me to ease another’s pain if I can feel it. I probably should have been a counselor or a psychologist. It can also be a great burden to have to bear the weight of another’s heavy heart. However its mine and I wouldn’t give it up for anything.

FANTASY ~ It’Tattoo Right Legs my favourite genre, no matter what the media. Mermaids, dragons, faeries, gnomes, dwarfs, elves, fauns. Given a choice I would have been born a mermaid. I love the water. I am an adept swimmer and would be perfectly content to spend my life submerged. On the other hand, there are so many great qualities about so many other creatures. I love the power of the dragon, graceful and strong. I love the beauty of the faeries, delicate and bright. Gnomes, elves and fauns have a connection with the forest and can talk to the animals, and in the case of the elves command some natural power. Some of my favourite authors are in the Fantasy genre, like Tolkien.

GROUCHY ~ Yeah, I’m becoming one of those grouchy old people. Yes, I realise that 37 is NOT old, nor do I feel old. Nonetheless, i am becoming a grouch. Perhaps it’s just a “low tolerance for stupid” and I give it too much power, allowing it to affect my emotions. Either way, I’ve learned to accept its just how I am now.

HUMANIST ~ As much as I dislike certain people, I love the human race. We have so much potential for greatness…it’s a shame that we spoil it by being arrogant. I will fight for our rights to basic human needs, but I don’t worry about what people want. We need clean water. We need heat when it’s cold. We need safe, well-cooked food to eat. We need health care so that when we get sick or injured we can be healed. We need shelter from the elements. We need to be around others like we are so that we can socialise. We need to be protected from ourselves but not prevented from living. That’s all. Anything outside of that is just filler, not necessity and should be left to the individual. I fight for equality for everyone, no mPLUM2Gatter who they are, what they believe or where they happen to live.

IMAGINATION ~ I have one. It’s big. Some days it’s bigger than I am. It’s probably my favourite quality. I encourage it in my children, although as they get older I see it fade with their innocence. It helps my creativity. Try to draw, or paint, or write without it. It helps to guide me in decisions I make. I own my imagination and embrace all that it brings.

JUXTAPOSITION ~ I love interesting words. Words that are fun to say or have interesting meanings or great reasons for being. This is one of them, possibly because so much of me contradicts other parts of me. It may not define me…then again, it might just help explain me.

KISS ~ One of the best things about having lips is the ability to use them for puckered demonstration of emotion. It’s one of those characteristics we share with other simians. It’s soft and gentle as one kisses a child on the forehead when she falls ill. It’s passionate as one kisses a partner during coitus. It’s welcoming as one kisses another on the cheek after spending time apart.

LOVE ~ What is “love”? A chemical reaction, easily reproduced by eating certain foods. Yes, but what IS love? How does it work? How does it affect every aspect of who we are and what we are? People will become either the best of who we are or the worst variation of who we are because of it. It can start a war, bringing about death. It can also create life. On the other hand, it could just Video call snapshot 87 (2)be part of imagination. I have an entire theory developed about this. Watch for another blog about it.

MUSIC ~ Everything we do comes with a soundtrack, if we are living right. Music allows us to enjoy experiences, triggering memories later. It is expression and emotion and as different as those who listen to it. You can’t put it in a box. You can’t contain it. It’s the one thing that stays with us forever, even when what it means to us changes. I love music…of all genres. I love blues for it’s soul and emotion. I love jazz, it always reminds me of my Grandmother’s Teehaus. It’s light and fun and free from restraint. I love swing and big band because the people who play it and dance to it really seem to have a great time with it. It’s hard to not want to dance when listening to Glenn Miller or Cherry Poppin’ Daddies. I love hard rock or heavy metal. I love punk for it’s free expression and angst-filled lyrics. I love classical and opera for the discipline needed to get there. I love techno because electronically the possibilities are endless. I love disco, when no one else does because it explores all of the most interesting of other genres and brings it together. I love ambient to fill in what’s left. There is a song for every moment of every day of our entire lives…you just have to find the one that fits right now. For me, as I type THESE words it’s “The Black Horde” of Aalborg Soundtracks.

NYMPH ~ Defined by Merriam-Webster as “any of the minor divinities of nature in classical mythology represented as beautiful maidens dwelling in the mountains, forests, trees, and waters.” It’s one of my favourite mythological beings. I thought this MIGHT help explain things a bit. Then again, maybe I’m the only one who gets it.

ORGASM ~ I don’t think I need to explain this too much. I think it’s here in case I don’t have another “O”

PANSEXUAL ~ Everyone has their qualities, good and bad. All can be high-maintenance, self-absorbed, self-satisfying assholes. On the other hand all can be giving, selfless, and generous to a fault. I do not limit myself to either sex or one specific gender. I am open to everyone and can love the person. People are people. Everything we are, in varying degrees is shared within both sexes. There is no “Venus/Mars” equation. We are sexual beings. Everyone in the world has lusted for someone of the same sex, or at the very least felt attraction to…possibly with a bit of fantasy or “what if” scenario playing in their minds. It’s human nature. Denying it won’t make it less true. It just creates a world of sexually-repressed beings who take out their frustrations by cooking up wars to keep them busy and take their minds off those “unnatural” feelings that keep stirring around in their minds.

QUESTION ~ Question everything. I don’t take anything at face value or take anyone’s word for it. Education is key to everything.

RESPECT ~ Respect is as important as honesty. I don’t think it’s necessary to “earn” it either. That suggests that another person is less deserving of it. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect. If it’s not returned in kind then there is no reason to continue interacting with that person.

SEX ~ I like sex. A lot. I like sex by myself. Who better than me to take care of me. It’s how I know what I like or don’t like. I like sex with a partner, especially when s/he is as open to exploration as I am. Sometimes I want it to be sweet and sensual. Other times I want it to be physical and needy. I need every part of you to explore every part of me. Gentle or rough, slow or fast, loving or exciting…there is no bad sex as long as you are enjoying what you are doing. It’s everything and nothing and one of the best things about being alive.

TOYS ~ As a child at heart I love to play with toys. The simple stuff. A deck of cards. A spirograph. A box of crayons. Marbles. Chalk, a sidewalk and a rock. Two cans, some string and a tree to hide behind. Legos or wooden blocks or Lincoln logs for building. I never got much into dolls, I was more into creative toys…stuff that either took imagination to make it work or used your imagination to create.

UNIQUE ~ I accept nothing as fad. I don’t care what your opinion is, outside of accepting that it’s yours and you are entitled to it. I don’t care what your choice of fashion is or whether you match even. I follow my own drum, seek out my own knowledge and obey my own instinct.Wine

VINO ~ I love wine, which I am using the Italian word for since I need “W” for something else. Hey it’s my fucking blog, I’ll do what I want. It’s only due to my OCD that I actually went through the trouble of finding words that describe me using the corresponding letters. It’s gonna get hard from here on. Anyway, I love wine. I try to refrain from booze (although when I DO imbibe it’s usually tequila or sambuca)  and never could drink beer (what do you expect, I grew up in the US…its all pish here) but I will always love wine.

WRITING ~ This for me is new. I have recently discovered that I can be brought to write down my feelings or thoughts or even the odd story. Okay, truth be told I have tried off and on forever. However it’s only within the last year or so that it’s actually come to fruition. I have a small collection of poems building, a couple of short stories that I’ve kind of ignored lately. Currently it’s a novel that takes most of my time. Who knows, some day it might actually become something great…however I never hold my breath. Often the best works are ignored and the tripe hits it big (hello, “50 Shades”…even typing it makes me nauseous).

X-RATED ~ Yes, a great deal of the time I wouldn’t introduce me to your preschool-aged child. I say exactly what enters my head. I decided a long time ago that I am who I am and will not filter for anyone. I swear, a lot. “Fuck” is one of my favourite words. Probably because it almost always gets a reaction. I use it more the older I get, too. I pity anyone who is around when I reached the “golden years” because by then I will have absolutely no reason to filter anything and will give kids the middle finger.

YOUNG ~ No matter how old I get I will always remain young. You are only as old as you feel. I try to surround myself with people who fPLUM2Geel the same. You have to laugh. Laugh at yourself, everyone else is. Laugh at your world, there is a lot of funny out there. Laugh at your family, they really are weird…at least mine is. Play games that make you smile. Ignore everything that brings you down. Go for walks. Smell the flowers. Try new things, especially food. Mix things together that you haven’t tried before. Try bacon on everything, you will be amazed at what it tastes good with. Ignore people who tell you that food is bad for you. Unless it contains more chemicals than food it’s not bad. However you have to moderate your intake of certain things. I love food. I eat a lot of different foods, and I find as I get older that I appreciate the tastes of certain things that I hated when I was younger. That’s one of the best things about getting older…discovering new flavours that I ignored when I was younger.

ZERO ~ When it comes down to it, I am nothing. In the great scheme of things my little blip of an existence means absolutely nothing. Life is too fucking short to take it OR yourself too seriously. Enjoy what you can while you can because just as it’s getting really interesting and you have learned enough to really appreciate it……………..it’s all over.


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